Communication & Conflict Style

Discover your dominant style and how you handle disagreement.

1. When working on a group project, I usually focus on:

Getting the work done quickly and efficiently. Generating exciting new ideas and getting everyone energized. Ensuring everyone gets along and feels heard. Getting the details right and ensuring accuracy.

2. When a conflict arises, my natural reaction is to:

Try to smooth things over and avoid tension. Address it head-on to solve the problem immediately. Step back and analyze the facts before speaking. Talk it out enthusiastically and express how I feel.

3. I am most convinced by:

Evidence, data, and logic. Stories, visions, and the “big picture.” Results and bottom-line outcomes. Trust, personal relationships, and consensus.

4. My ideal feedback sounds like:

“Here is what you achieved and here is what to fix next.” “I really appreciate your help and how you supported the team.” “Here is a detailed breakdown of your performance metrics.” “I love your energy and your creative approach!”

5. Under extreme stress, I tend to:

Get emotional or talk a lot. Withdraw and become silent. Become autocratic or demanding. Give in to others to avoid further stress.

Calculate My Style

Navigating Communication & Conflict

Understanding Yourself and Your Collaborators

Effectively working in a team—especially in creative environments—requires more than just technical skills. It requires understanding where people are coming from.

This guide outlines the four primary “Social Styles” and provides a decoder for handling conflict.

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1. The Matrix: How We Differ

All communication styles act along two axes. Where you fall on these determines your dominant style:

• Assertiveness (Ask vs. Tell): Do you tend to ask questions and listen (Ask), or state opinions and direct action (Tell)?
• Responsiveness (Task vs. People): Do you prioritize getting the job done (Task), or how the team feels (People)?

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2. The Four Styles & Their Conflict Strategies

🔥 The Driver (Direct & Task-Oriented)

• Motto: “Let’s get it done now.”
• Strengths: Decisive, efficient, pragmatic, keeps the project moving.
• Conflict Style: The Steamroller (Competing).
  • When stressed, they become autocratic. They may interrupt, take over, or issue commands to force a resolution quickly.
• Decoding Their Motivation:
  • If they are being bossy or aggressive… it is not usually personal. They are terrified of inefficiency or losing control of the outcome.
  • What they need: They need to see that you are competent and that progress is being made.

🌟 The Expressive (Direct & People-Oriented)

• Motto: “Let’s do something new and exciting.”
• Strengths: Enthusiastic, persuasive, creative, visionary, energizes the room.
• Conflict Style: The Exploder (Attacking/Venting).
  • When stressed, they get personal. They may raise their voice, become sarcastic, or make the issue about “how they feel” rather than the facts.
• Decoding Their Motivation:
  • If they are yelling or getting emotional… it is because they feel ignored. Their core fear is rejection or not being heard.
  • What they need: They need acknowledgement. They need to know their ideas are valued before they can calm down.

🤝 The Amiable (Indirect & People-Oriented)

• Motto: “Let’s work together comfortably.”
• Strengths: Supportive, patient, good listener, builds strong team cohesion.
• Conflict Style: The Peacekeeper (Acquiescing).
  • When stressed, they give in. They will say “yes” to things they disagree with just to stop the fighting. They often harbor silent resentment (passive-aggressive).
• Decoding Their Motivation:
  • If they go quiet or agree too quickly… it is because they are afraid of damaging the relationship. They prioritize harmony over being “right.”
  • What they need: They need safety. They need assurance that disagreeing won’t ruin the friendship/working relationship.

🔍 The Analytical (Indirect & Task-Oriented)

• Motto: “Let’s get it right.”
• Strengths: Precise, logical, thorough, systematic, catches errors others miss.
• Conflict Style: The Avoider (Withdrawing).
  • When stressed, they shut down. They physically or mentally leave the room to avoid emotion. They refuse to make a decision until they have “all the data.”
• Decoding Their Motivation:
  • If they stop talking or delay the project… it is because they are afraid of making a mistake or acting irrationally.
  • What they need: They need space and facts. Do not pressure them for an immediate emotional response.

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3. The “Decoder Ring”: Interpreting Conflict

Use this chart when you are confused by a classmate’s reaction.

If you see this behavior…	They are likely this Style…	They are acting this way because they fear…	To de-escalate, you should…
Taking over, ordering others around	Driver	Failure / Wasting Time	Be brief. Focus on the solution, not the problem. “I see your point on X. Let’s fix it by doing Y.”
Becoming emotional, blaming, exaggerating	Expressive	Being Ignored / Rejection	Validate them. “I hear how passionate you are about this idea. Let’s explore that.”
Shutting down, “ghosting,” avoiding eye contact	Analytical	Being Wrong / Embarrassment	Give them space. “Let’s take a 10-minute break and come back to look at the details.”
Giving in too easily, saying “Whatever you want”	Amiable	Conflict / Loss of Approval	Reassure them. “I value our partnership. It’s okay if we disagree; I want to hear your real thoughts.”

4. Discussion Questions

1. Think of a recent group project. Which conflict style did you use? Did it help or hurt the project?
2. How can a “Driver” and an “Amiable” work together without driving each other crazy?
3. Why might an “Analytical” person feel overwhelmed by an “Expressive” person’s brainstorming session?